Gratitude Attitude

This has really been QUITE the summer, friends. Some would say "boring", others would say a "growing experience". I think that others were right. Now, I would like to think that I'm a woman of simple theology, so please look much further for a stuffy, doctrine-filled blog post, because I'm all about just sitting at the feet of Jesus and learning his simple and wonderful truths.
Like so many others, I'm constantly looking toward the future. I'm always thinking about what Jesus is going to do next in my life, or what I need to buy next month, or what is going to happen in 3 years. And when I focus on these things, I'm missing out on pretty much everything that's going on right now. I'm taking for granted everything that I've been blessed with. One of the best things about our time on earth is this- God  is the creator, and all of the earth bends to his will. I need not worry about today, tomorrow, or any other distant future.
When I'm always looking toward the future, it's impossible for me to recognize the blessings of today. I am so very incredibly blessed, I couldn't even begin to realize how the Father has provided for me. For example:

-I have some of the most fantastic friends on the face of the planet. Their faithfulness to the Lord is humbling and their constant encouragement blesses me beyond belief. I can't imagine my life without the amazing and beautiful people that the Lord has placed in my life. Somehow these amazing people want me in their lives, and they constantly pour so much wisdom into me and give grace like Jesus. Holler.
-I am financially cared for in such an incredible way. I have never known starvation and I have never wondered where my next meal will come from. This is probably one of the must humbling realizations, because so many millions of people will go to bed hungry tonight. It's so easy to take clean water and an abundance of food for granted, and I'm doing myself such a disservice by feeling a sense of entitlement to all of these things.
-Education. Oh man, as a total nerd I could go on about my gratefulness for education all day and night. I have the ability to read and write, and I am blessed enough to actually attend a college to receive a degree. How often do we, as college students, take our education for granted? The next time I'm complaining about a test or waiting until the last possible moment to write a mediocre-grade paper, I think a reality check is in order. There are so so many millions of people around the world that would do pretty much anything to be where I am.

How could I so easily forget these truths while worrying about tomorrow? I'm grateful for the cross most of all. Endless praises for His grace.

Peace out, cub scouts.

Relationship Status

Quite recently, the topic of relationships and marriage seem to be on the forefront of a lot of minds in my life. I feel as though I've discussed relationships with SO many people. It may be because so many of my friends are in relationships right now, or because a few have just left relationships, but either way it seems to be a pretty significant topic. And I think it's one of those topics that everyone has an opinion about, and everyone seems to have differing views about relationships and marriage.

Being a part of the MCC community (and a college-aged community as a whole) leaves little room to avoid the topic of marriage and relationships, because so many people enter into relationships at this time. I was fairly recently talking to my roommate about relationship and marriage, and she shared with me some knowledge she gained in her Family Relationships and Gender Roles class at K-State. Her professor was discussing marriage and said that we, as a culture, place so much emphasis on preparing for a wedding, and don't really seem to prepare ourselves for a marriage. She went on to discuss how most every girl seems to have a "Pinterest" board devoted to weddings, even single or already married women. What a revelation is that- that we, as a culture, prepare for a wedding but not a marriage?

I've had a handful of friends recently enter into relationships seeking to glorify God, and I've spoken with so many of them about what that looks like, and how we are able to have a Christ-centered relationship. In turn, we've discussed what the result of that would be in a marriage. And that is a topic that doesn't really have one single answer, but a string of differing advice from people who have struggled with completely different things in relationships. 

It's really been an eye-opener to allow God to uncover some truths to me about relationships. I think that so often we (especially as women) have this laundry list of qualifications for a significant other, and I'll be the first to admit that I have some pretty crazy-high standards. But what it all has to boil down to is God. The only qualification you REALLY should need in another person is Godliness, because if you have that, everything will fall into place. If your only qualification for a person is Godliness, then he will respect you, and have compassion for those who are hurting, and he won't be seeking fulfillment in you alone as his significant other. A man that is content in a daily walk with Christ won't be looking to get everything he needs out of the relationship that will cause satisfaction, because everything he needs in life is being fulfilled by the Lord. And a significant other who is searching after Christ won't try to turn you into God, because he has already established that God is so much more powerful and perfect and loving that you will EVER be. And that really takes a lot of stress off of me to attempt to be something I'm not, and it takes stress off of me to try to hide my brokenness, or to worry about having an unhealthy relationship that has become my idol. 

I feel so very blessed to have spent so much time being single over the past year, because it really gives me a different glimpse of what a good relationship can be. I recently discovered a small series about relationships and marriage by Francis Chan and his wife, and I think they have a lot of really great things to say about relationships. I especially enjoy the emphasis on the temporal nature of relationships, and even on marriage. 

At the end of the day, the most important thing I think I have learned about relationships (and I am probably the furthest thing from an expert, for sure) is that God is doing great things right here and now, and we need to be about his business and not busy with any of the stuff that goes along with life. And that includes all of our relationships. I think that just like anything else, when we allow God to consume our hearts and minds, everything else just seems to fall right into place. There's great satisfaction and great contentment in knowing that I serve the God that created relationships, marriage, and me, and that I am filled with the Holy Spirit. Everything else is just stuff that goes along with life, and nothing is nearly as important as that fact. When I recognize who God is in relation to me, and how much less important everything is than God, I can gain new perspective on life, and that includes relationships.

If you're at all interested in hearing with Francis Chan and his wife have to say about marriage and relationships, take the time to listen to these two sermons, they really are insightful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihRmM0aVADU&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gankzqrIipQ&feature=relmfu

Awaken My Heart

I'll be the first to admit that my life is one, big messy struggle. And I screw up being like Jesus daily. I mean, I REALLY epically stink at being a Christian. Praise be to God for forgiveness and for his grace, because I would be nowhere without it.


 And I am so awful at forgetting that everyone else sucks just as badly as me. And I forget that everyone else hurts just as deeply as me. I'm so wrapped up in my stupid, trivial life that I don't leave room to love other people in the midst of their mess. Recently, the Lord has laid a big chunk of the book of Ephesians on my heart:

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. 

 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (4:22-32)

I always love when a "therefore" comes my way, because it means I've got to get my act together in about 1-2 verses. It's kind of like God's way of saying, "get over yourself and do this". Anyway, this verse section is so beautiful for so many reasons, the first of which being "do not let the sun go down while you are still angry". It's like God KNOWS that something happens when you let your crap fester. I think that we slip this verse into the "marriage" category and throw it around as a good piece of advice to give couples when they fight (thank you, Fireproof), but we forget about its importance in daily life. This verse speaks straight to my heart because I am one of the worst procrastinators ever, and I absolutely put of confrontation as long as humanly possible. I'm terrible at conflict, I'm scared of it, and I run away from it like the plague. 

But the best thing about serving our Jesus is that he won't let us stay the same for long. He gives us a beautiful set of "therefore's" to make us better versions of ourselves. I serve a Lord that puts fantastic situations in my life and always reminds me that conflict can make you better, not bitter. One of the most amazing things I learned from working for Celebrate Recovery for so many years is the healing and beauty that can come from confrontation. Facing the hard stuff doesn't always end badly (although it can feel pretty rough along the way), but facing those would-be monsters in your closet can actually prove to be beneficial. 

The second reason these verses are chalk-full of awesomeness is "do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths". It's so easy for me to find faults in other people, because it's so much less messy than looking at my own junk. One of the most mind-blowing things about Satan is that he can grasp a hold of our lives in ways that we don't even see coming, and we conform to sin in a way that makes us feel so comfortable, and it's embarrassing. Seriously, how can we justify saying degrading and misleading things about another person? I mean, you only need to read about 5 sentences from anywhere in the New Testament to know that we serve a Jesus that despises anything of that nature. 

Moral of the story- Me:0 Jesus: 5 billion. 

Team Jesus, dude.

PS- Stephen Miller has a fantastic song for a time like this....-

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-jJzeSgFas

Spring Break Realizations From the 'Hat

Welp, Folks, it's that time again- time to ponder the comings and goings of life via the blog post. Most everyone is galavanting the far corners of the continent whilst I am here, dutifully holding down the fort in Manhappenin (which is currently not so happenin'). After spending the majority of the week friendless (unless you count the innumerable teenage girls that shop at Aero, which I most definitely do not. Yet.), I have come to several realizations, most of which....all of which.... are about me.

Realization #1- I need a dog. Some would categorize that in the "want" category, but they would indeed be wrong, because I just plain NEED a dog. Why you ask? Well, for starters just think about the possibilities for funtivities. Secondly, there are the obvious safety features included in the large breed package, which is a bonus (adding to the "need" vs. "want" internal argument). Third, let's just ponder cuteness for a second. We all need a dose of cuteness in our lives

.....how can you say that's a "want" and not a "need"?!

I'll move on.

Realization #2- it is impossible for me to finish a project, namely a craft project. Examples?

1. My Christmas tree skirt, which I actually put under my tree less than 1/4 finished. Some day...

2. Area rug. That stupid 5x8 rug is not even 1/8 of the way done and I worked on it for over 100 hours this summer. Yes, I counted the hours. I'm really pulling for team "I'll finish that one when I'm pregnant one day/a stay at home mom/ a housewife/ unemployed substitute teacher/retired".

3. Knitted blanket. I started this bad boy in high school and gave up about 2 weeks in. That one is a total goner, may it rest in peace.

I have forbidden myself to start another project until I at least attempt to work on one of those (or one of the many other projects I've started and can't even find).

Realization #3- I own more clothes than anybody I've ever met. Okay, so I've probably known this for awhile, but I've finally come to accept the harsh reality that I own an insane amount of clothes. I can confidently say that after 8 weeks of not doing laundry, my walk in closet was still full of clothes....... And when I say "confidently", I mean "embarrassingly".... I blame three years of retail.

Realization #4- I'm almost 20 years old, and I still don't know how to swim. I had actually forgotten about that little fact until this week, and have once again begun the quest to conquer the h20. Know any lifeguards?

I could go on, but I have a bed full of laundry begging to be put away, and by "put away" I mean they're begging to be slept next to for the next 5 nights. The joys of a queen sized bed. Peace out cub scouts.

New Year, New Blog Name, New Me.

2012 has already been an amazing year living a life in Christ. Not only is God providing for me financially in ways that I could not have ever even imagined, but his grace abounds evermore.

As you may have noticed, I have recently changed the name of my blog to "Covered in the Dust of My Rabbi". I have this very vivid memory from my high school Christian club, one that has changed me forever. During a particular meeting, we were discussing the Jewish Rabbis in the time of Christ. Ribbis usually had disciples that would follow them around everywhere they went, hoping to learn everything they could. After following their teacher around all day, they would be covered in everything their rabbi had stepped in. There was a saying in this time that was something like, "May you be covered in the dust of your rabbi".

What a beautiful picture of our lives in Christ. It is my hope for you, for me, for us, to be so incredibly enthralled in Jesus Christ that we cling to him as close as humanly possible. What would it look like if we followed him so closely that we were covered in the dust of our rabbi? How simple, how humble and how absolutely beautiful is that picture of faith? Because we don't serve a clean and pretty Jesus, but a Son of God who is not afraid to get his hands dirty. We are so foolish to become distracted by petty things, we have lost sight of the Son of God himself. I've lost sight of him.

So my hope for this year is to follow Christ with so much enthusiasm, I don't even have any idea what's going on outside of Christ. Because when my entire being is focused on him, everything is so clear. I see the hurt, and the pain, and the Christ in every situation. I feel love for his people, and I have a never ending joy for the eternal.

As I prepare my heart to spend my summer in Africa, I pray constantly for God to show me what he sees. I want to see everything through his eyes because if I don't, I'm going to miss something. I'm going to miss an opportunity to share the gospel, or to show his love to someone hurting. I lack wisdom in so many places, but I'm smart enough to know that I couldn't do something like this on my own, and I don't want to.

This is my goal for this year, while I'm here and when I'm gone- to be a disciple that is covered in the dust of my rabbi.