Blogs Aren't Factual. And Neither Is Any of This.

Recently I stumbled upon a blog article that was shared on my Facebook feed, and it detailed the account of a young woman who had waited to have sex until she was married, and the resulting traumatic sex life which she believed could be accredited to her abstinence.

But here's one thing that's really important about being a human and filtering information- there's a difference between CAUSATION and CORRELATION. Now I don't mean to discredit the sufferings of this young woman, because having poor sexual relations in her marriage is surely traumatic, and being scared into abstinence by her church is terrible and misguided. But this article troubled me because she was suggesting that abstinence had a causal affect on her sex life, and not perhaps some sort of correlation. I mean to say that abstaining from sex perhaps wasn't the only reason she was having issues in her marriage, and waiting to have sex shouldn't have to take all the heat. After all, I personally know many couples who have abstained from sex until marriage and are very happy. So too, I know a great number of married people who were not virgins on their wedding day and have a wonderful sex life. Or a bad one. Or none.

The decision whether or not to have sex outside of marriage is a very personal one, and you should never ever let anyone scare you into making that decision based off of their personal experience. Cuz, well, you aren't having sex with them so in the end their sex life doesn't make that much of a difference.

Whatever your decision is regarding your virginity, or lack there of, you should really know that it isn't going to doesn't have to make or break your entire marriage for the rest of your life forever amen. People on both sides of the spectrum have great marriages, and really crappy ones. Abstaining doesn't guarantee anything, neither does having sex with multiple partners.

Although I have come across a great deal of research discussing marital happiness and number of sexual partners in Family Studies, at best they are CORRELATIVE, AND NOT CAUSAL. You just have to educate yourself to the best of your abilities with the filters your decide to put on your decision making and live your life.

Go forth and read blogs carefully. And don't trust anyone who writes them.

Runtastical

In January of this year, I set a goal for myself to run my very first half marathon.

What I thought would happen...
-I would give up by Feb
-I would hate it
-I would hurt myself
-grumble grumble
-I would finish last
-My butt would look good

What really happened...
-runners butt is quality
-I have gained more confidence in myself as a person than I ever imagined
-I finished in 2:45
-i fell madly in love with running

I had heard in a psych class that your relationship with yourself is often similar to one you may have with a friend, and that if you tell yourself you will complete a task, and you don't,  you actually lose confidence in yourself. You are actually, in some weird way, in your own relationship.

Let me tell you, I have never believed THAT more, or loved myself more than when I actually finished that race. Watching your body adapt to new things and go the miles you train it for is so awesome and unbelievable. And the best part is that it's TOTALLY okay to love yourself for being awesome.

Another thing I never bargained on was the amazing support that is the running community. Whether its a run in my neighborhood or my first race, I never thought it was possible to feel supported and encouraged by strangers. When I am in the local running store, people are so excited for me to be a part of this. When I am babysitting a new family and running comes up in our conversations, they high five my success. Humans are awesome.

I'm currently training for my next half in the fall.

Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where others see nothing

- Camille Pissarro

You are Worthy and You Are Loved

Gosh their are so many articles about "how women are portrayed in the media" and "how to get rid of belly fat" and there are corporations devoted to these subjects, and advertisement campaigns. But here's the deal about getting angry about a society that values body types that don't exist- you're not going to change a corporation's mind. Or an entire culture's media views. I totally agree that we, as a media, misrepresent women and men, and it's unfair and it hurts people. It damages our society DEEP to our core. It ruins families and creates a lot of tears. I know this because I've lived it as a teenage girl.

I can't say that I'm completely "cured" of self-consciousness, because it creeps up from time to time when you live in this culture- and especially when you are a part of a college campus with 10,000+ girls your own age. It's REALLY easy to compare yourself and not feel good enough in a variety of ways. So instead of feeling badly about ourselves, and our media, and the way the whole image deal is wrapped up, what if we could actually DO something. Maybe not change the world, but change how you look at yourself and how you look at your friends and how you look at your children. And what if by changing the way YOU view things, other people may begin to value themselves in other ways?

We've all been caught in an awkward conversation with a friend when they're discussing "how fat they are" or "I feel like this shirt makes me look awful" or whatever fill-in-the-blank complaint they're pushing toward us. And it's kind of okay to talk about ourselves this way, as either self-talk or to a friend. And sometimes you can't escape those moments and you freeze up. But what if we started looking for situations to pull the good out of one another? And what if we completely ended "looks talk" all together? What if we stopped complimenting looks but we started congratulating each other on kindness, and innovation and intellect? We all have love cups, and will search for them to be filled in one fashion or another. It would mean so much more if a friend complimented my kindness or dedication instead of how pretty I looked.

Deleting all "looks talk" from your vocabulary completely is TOTALLY tangible. You can't change the media, but you really could inspire true beauty and worth in a way that won't fade with age.

You are worthy and you are loved and you are a whole human being who was created with a purpose with individual talents and dreams and goals, and that matters.

Gosh, what if we all believed that about ourselves?

2014 Hopes

"They" say that you have to write goals down in order to keep yourself accountable, and that you should tell others to make them even more successful, so here's what I hope for myself in 2014-

-I want to live in a place of vulnerability. So often we don't want to experience the hard things or feel the low moments, and that's natural. We take the pills and drink the drinks and we blame and we yell and fight and do all of these things because life really hurts sometimes. But you can't pick and choose what things you feel, it's sort of an all or nothing. And for me, I really want the all. I'm okay with being hurt and crying and failing if it means that I also experience true joy and love and grace. 

-I hope to continually live life in a mindset that I am enough. If I'm being totally honest with myself, it's really hard to always feel like I'm enough for myself, or in my job, or for my family and especially for the Lord. Gosh it's so easy to come to a place where you truly feel unworthy of the Lord's love and his grace. And we are, but that should inspire adoration and not guilt. 

-I want to give until it hurts. I want to give of my money and my time and my heart to the Lord in a way that I never have before. The most amazing moments I have ever experienced in my life have come when I gave the last of myself to Jesus. He is so faithful in filling our cups and pouring love and grace in a way that is so limitless and abounding, I want to walk fearlessly toward his endlessness.  

I can say in complete vulnerability that there were so many highs in 2013, but a number of lows that I have never experienced before. I failed myself and a lot of other people many times. It's crazy to think that I could learn so much about myself in such a short period of time and in those low moments I saw the Lord in an amazing way and I was humbled by his forgiveness and the grace that ensued from so many people when I failed. I spent so many hundreds of hours surrounded by amazing littles and they have made me a better woman. I could never know how to thank so many tiny humans for teaching me valuable lessons.

 I'm not too picky about 2014 as long as there's Jesus and a whole lot of grace.

Snow Day Projects!

A year and a half ago, I bought this WONDERFUL old dresser at a garage sale to become a buffet table in the dining room of my old house. Since downsizing, it has become a fabulous dresser for my room. Because it's about five million years old, it was impossible to find handles that fit. To my extreme excitement, I stumbled upon (literally) this website this afternoon..

http://www.athomeinlove.com/creative-diy-drawer-pulls/

and I finally finished my dresser with some fabric I had laying around.

The mirror is an old farmhouse window my grandma had in her garage, and I sprayed mirror paint onto the back. I LOVE the finished product.

 Kitten seems to like it too :)

TA DA! Hope your snow day has been equally productive.

I also finished 5lbs of beef jerky for my dad for Christmas! It is absolutely the best ever. If you want to try it out, here's the link!

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/11/20/how-to-make-the-best-beef-jerky-in-the-world/

What I Wish I Could Tell My Dear B

I have this wonderful and complicated little in my life. He's that little that is always in trouble and tests my patience on the daily. From the moment I met this wonderful rascal, I could tell he lives a hard life. And when I saw him being picked on yesterday, there were a million things I wanted to tell him besides "I'm so sorry". I want to share with you what I would tell my precious B, if I could...

My wonderful and dear B, you are so valuable. Sometimes life is so very tough, but tomorrow will come. One day you'll look back on your childhood, and I hope you remember the good things. I hope that you will become a wonderful man of God. I hope that you find your worth and value in the Lord. I hope that the unkind words of others do not resonate in your heart in those quiet hours. I hope you always remember how fearfully and wonderfully you were made. You are my favorite Lego builder and your imagination inspires me. You are the kind of friend I would want on my side. Please never hide that heart that you wear on your sleeves. I hope your love cup continually overflows.

My littles make be better. Sometimes they make me crazy and they test me on the daily. But they stretch my patience, they make my heart grow, and they make me cherish people when the world is hard to love. Tiny humans make big humans huggable. They make the war and strife fall away, and all you see is a Barbie and a tiny person looking for validation. Microcosms of Legos and coloring books make the big things make more sense.

I'm Calling BS on the College Shiz

Really, I'm a terrible fool. I've gone through a season and really forgotten about it all. I've forgotten about what matters and who really matters.

You see, when you make an (over) generalization of the whole "college" thing, it's a big load of shit. You come into this place, and they tell you that you need to pick one career to focus on for the rest of your life, and you're supposed to think about how much money you're going to make, and how successful you'll be with X major and Y minor will get you a better job. And you have to be someone's bitch at an awful summer job that you HATE because if you don't, you won't be successful. And if you're not successful and don't make a crap load of money, you won't be happy. You'll have WASTED time and money and for what?!

And speaking of "wasting time", what about the whole 4 year deal anyway? How much bull shit are you fed the whole time you're here. The realities of the stereotypes of college students aren't all true, but I know I've settled for a C because I'm lazy...or a D... We all complain about how much we hate school here and there, because papers DO suck and no one likes busy work, and half the time the classes you have to take are a waste of time and we're all graded the exact same way but there's no way I'm like that dude at the end of the row, and I bet we take tests differently and maybe I bombed it but I actually learned SO much in that class but now I have a C on my transcript because I don't do matching sections very well.

So I'm not REALLY happy in college, because I don't like people telling me that I'm stupid and I don't like feeling pressured to stick with a job I'm going to hate. But they say you'll probably hate your first job too, because you're not doing to get your DREAM job right away.

Well when the hell do I actually get to be happy? In 30 years when I'm rich..orr what?

Nobody in college tells you that all of that is total crap. You're NEVER going to be happy BECAUSE you have a 6-figure job. Having a vacation home isn't what is going to bring you joy.

Take a second to think about some of your BEST memories. Think of the times in your life you were the happiest. I can't imagine ANY of them are tied to a thing. It's probably something like that camping trip to CO my family used to all take together. Or the time freshmen year when my roommates all hung out on 2 couches smushed together when they canceled school. Or last week when I was dancing in the car to kidz bop pandora with my littles.

We don't love Christmas because of the stuff. We love it because for ONE day of the year, not once are you thinking about yourself. You're spending all day thinking about the look on your mom's face when she opens her present, because you NAILED IT. And when she opens it, she doesn't cry because she loves that item so much, but she can't believe you remembered that conversation you had in April, and she knows that you probably had to sell something to be able to afford that.

I'm not saying we should quit school or all decide to be homeless, I'm just saying they don't teach us this stuff in class. And I don't want to wait until I'm 35, fat, divorced, and miserable before I figure out what actually mattered the whole time. Because I wasn't the one who really mattered, and it definitely wasn't money or the stuff it could buy me. The people in my life matter and if I forget that, they may not still be around when I remember.

Humbled in the Shadow of His Love

America,

"Life is a long lesson in humility"

James Barrie, positively my favorite Scottish author, was not only a literary genius and philanthropist, but he obviously had life figured out PRETTY well. I dunno about you, but my life is often a wave of crashing dominoes. You know, those seasons tend to come where you are learning one thing, and learning it EVERYWHERE.

In a wonderful cornucopia of examples, I've REALLY learned this summer that I do not, indeed, have everything figured out and that I may not, indeed, always be spot on. Through a culmination of looking back on the things that have transpired, looking to my side at the things that are unfolding, and looking toward the future, it has come to my attention that people are not always what you may think they are.

1. You are not who you may think you are. Looking back in my life has taught me this error in thought (could it be true that I do not know EVERYTHING?)
2. People are not what you may think they are. By looking at what surrounds me, I've realized that often people are not quite what you would hope (grace is effortlessly beautiful once more). But some few, wonderful people, are the best inspiration you could ever hope for on this Earth (praise him for the reflection of his son in those who call him Lord).

You can only change you, and I am wonderfully humbled in the shadow of his love, where mercy and grace meet me at forgiveness yet again.

America, ya'll

Greetings! I hope your fourth was fantastic! Here's an update on my festivities... 

 We went to a Royals game! Rocking the ponchos, because it rained for ever and the game didn't even start until 10:00. Holy late night, Batman. 

Post-game pics...you know, at 1 AM

 10 years later, we finally have pictures together.

Les deux

 Being stuck in the stadium for 2 hours= getting into mayhem.

Post-game fireworks. Holler.

4th of July spent with the Nickles fam is tradish. Cody was obviously enjoying himself. 

We Rejoice

"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, character produces hope, and our hope does not disappoint us because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts by the Holy Spirit"- Katie Davis (I urge you to follow her blog, kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com)

Craftastic

Ya'll, I love summer. I seriously have so much time to do all of those cool crafts that I've been wanting to do for the past year. 

Liikeeee.......

refinish a chair! I definitely should have taken a "before" picture, because this little guy was rough. Imagine a Christmas green that was super chipped. This took 5,000 hours to finish, but it is one sexxayy little corner chair!

 I made some coasters! The tiles are only 9 cents at Menards. Talk about the world's cheapest craft if  you already have modpodge and scrapbook paper! Coaster Nazi officially has the goods. 

 Took my littles to the zoo last week! What an adventure! Also, outings with children make you feel like a pack mule. Seriously, we should have rented a wagon for all the gear it takes to take children into the world. 

I lost the cap to my favorite water bottle. If you own a favorite water bottle, you know that this. is. tragic. Luckily, I bought two of them originally, so not all is lost. 

Have a blessed week! The Lord has really been revealing himself to me in such wonderful, small ways lately. I'm so grateful for His grace and endless patience .

Manhappiness

I don't know about you, but I love Kansas. Everyone should experience a KS summer at least once in their lives. It has this wonderful understated beauty. You know, the kind you don't really notice if you're not really looking at the right thing. Some states have in-your-face beauty that you can't miss, but I kind of prefer the silent-yet-fabulous way that Kansas does its thing. 

Before you look at these next pics, please first adjust your mindset. Imagine that wonderful 75 degree breeze blowing, the perfect middle of nowhere smell- like fresh air mixed with sunshine with a hint of grass, and bird chirping mixed with the low buzz of bugs everywhere. 

Summa Lovin

Hiya, beauts! I hope all is well and that summer is kicking in full swing for you!! Here's an update on my life thus far...

I've been reading my little heart out. This gem has been calling out my name for yeearrrs!!

I turned my bff's living room into a studio..it's kind of a funny, long story? No worries, I'll have a bedroom like a normal human soon and very soon!

Eeeekk... speaking of not having a room, I'm livin in  BOXES. Yikes guys, what a struggle. In a strange way, it's teaching me to live with less (If I haven't used it since I boxed it, do I REAALLLYY need it??)

Coffeeeee. Lots of coffee. A. coffee is fantastic. B. I have the best job in the world! I'm one proud nanny for the two best kids in the whole wide world! It's a baller job, but coffee is a must at 8!

Don't worry, Love Fern is really taking to the new home. It's probably something about the air quality.

Can't wait to share more! Terribly sorry about the awful photo quality. I set my camera on auto and edited them for 2.3 seconds. More fun things to happen soon in my life? God is so good, I can't wait!

Simplicity

Recently I've taken a step back to think about what is really important. I feel so very disconnected from people, and from the world, and from my Jesus. And to me, the solution was to take a moment to clear out all of the STUFF from my life. I want to reconnect with the world, and with people. I want to have real conversations, and see nature for myself (and not through someone else's instagram). I don't want to sit back and watch other people kind of live life, I want to actually live it. I want to eat dinner with my friends and have a real conversation, without phones. I want to drink coffee because I like it, without thinking about taking a picture of it.
Now, don't get me wrong, I definitely don't look down on anyone for tweeting and being on facebook or any social media, but I find myself so consumed with pointless information, I forget what really matters. Souls matter, not statuses or tweets or anything trivial. Late night conversations under the stars matter. Reading an amazing book that makes you feel empowered matters. Meeting 80 year old dudes named Ike matters. Watching the sun rise matters. Being at the feet of Jesus MATTERS. I want that for my life.
So, to kick off my summer right, I'm committing to not using Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram for the entire summer. I'll still blog (because I love it), but I want to spend a few months reconnecting to the things that matter. I would love for you to join me as I rediscover Jesus and his people (in the real world!).

Gratitude Attitude

This has really been QUITE the summer, friends. Some would say "boring", others would say a "growing experience". I think that others were right. Now, I would like to think that I'm a woman of simple theology, so please look much further for a stuffy, doctrine-filled blog post, because I'm all about just sitting at the feet of Jesus and learning his simple and wonderful truths.
Like so many others, I'm constantly looking toward the future. I'm always thinking about what Jesus is going to do next in my life, or what I need to buy next month, or what is going to happen in 3 years. And when I focus on these things, I'm missing out on pretty much everything that's going on right now. I'm taking for granted everything that I've been blessed with. One of the best things about our time on earth is this- God  is the creator, and all of the earth bends to his will. I need not worry about today, tomorrow, or any other distant future.
When I'm always looking toward the future, it's impossible for me to recognize the blessings of today. I am so very incredibly blessed, I couldn't even begin to realize how the Father has provided for me. For example:

-I have some of the most fantastic friends on the face of the planet. Their faithfulness to the Lord is humbling and their constant encouragement blesses me beyond belief. I can't imagine my life without the amazing and beautiful people that the Lord has placed in my life. Somehow these amazing people want me in their lives, and they constantly pour so much wisdom into me and give grace like Jesus. Holler.
-I am financially cared for in such an incredible way. I have never known starvation and I have never wondered where my next meal will come from. This is probably one of the must humbling realizations, because so many millions of people will go to bed hungry tonight. It's so easy to take clean water and an abundance of food for granted, and I'm doing myself such a disservice by feeling a sense of entitlement to all of these things.
-Education. Oh man, as a total nerd I could go on about my gratefulness for education all day and night. I have the ability to read and write, and I am blessed enough to actually attend a college to receive a degree. How often do we, as college students, take our education for granted? The next time I'm complaining about a test or waiting until the last possible moment to write a mediocre-grade paper, I think a reality check is in order. There are so so many millions of people around the world that would do pretty much anything to be where I am.

How could I so easily forget these truths while worrying about tomorrow? I'm grateful for the cross most of all. Endless praises for His grace.

Peace out, cub scouts.

Relationship Status

Quite recently, the topic of relationships and marriage seem to be on the forefront of a lot of minds in my life. I feel as though I've discussed relationships with SO many people. It may be because so many of my friends are in relationships right now, or because a few have just left relationships, but either way it seems to be a pretty significant topic. And I think it's one of those topics that everyone has an opinion about, and everyone seems to have differing views about relationships and marriage.

Being a part of the MCC community (and a college-aged community as a whole) leaves little room to avoid the topic of marriage and relationships, because so many people enter into relationships at this time. I was fairly recently talking to my roommate about relationship and marriage, and she shared with me some knowledge she gained in her Family Relationships and Gender Roles class at K-State. Her professor was discussing marriage and said that we, as a culture, place so much emphasis on preparing for a wedding, and don't really seem to prepare ourselves for a marriage. She went on to discuss how most every girl seems to have a "Pinterest" board devoted to weddings, even single or already married women. What a revelation is that- that we, as a culture, prepare for a wedding but not a marriage?

I've had a handful of friends recently enter into relationships seeking to glorify God, and I've spoken with so many of them about what that looks like, and how we are able to have a Christ-centered relationship. In turn, we've discussed what the result of that would be in a marriage. And that is a topic that doesn't really have one single answer, but a string of differing advice from people who have struggled with completely different things in relationships. 

It's really been an eye-opener to allow God to uncover some truths to me about relationships. I think that so often we (especially as women) have this laundry list of qualifications for a significant other, and I'll be the first to admit that I have some pretty crazy-high standards. But what it all has to boil down to is God. The only qualification you REALLY should need in another person is Godliness, because if you have that, everything will fall into place. If your only qualification for a person is Godliness, then he will respect you, and have compassion for those who are hurting, and he won't be seeking fulfillment in you alone as his significant other. A man that is content in a daily walk with Christ won't be looking to get everything he needs out of the relationship that will cause satisfaction, because everything he needs in life is being fulfilled by the Lord. And a significant other who is searching after Christ won't try to turn you into God, because he has already established that God is so much more powerful and perfect and loving that you will EVER be. And that really takes a lot of stress off of me to attempt to be something I'm not, and it takes stress off of me to try to hide my brokenness, or to worry about having an unhealthy relationship that has become my idol. 

I feel so very blessed to have spent so much time being single over the past year, because it really gives me a different glimpse of what a good relationship can be. I recently discovered a small series about relationships and marriage by Francis Chan and his wife, and I think they have a lot of really great things to say about relationships. I especially enjoy the emphasis on the temporal nature of relationships, and even on marriage. 

At the end of the day, the most important thing I think I have learned about relationships (and I am probably the furthest thing from an expert, for sure) is that God is doing great things right here and now, and we need to be about his business and not busy with any of the stuff that goes along with life. And that includes all of our relationships. I think that just like anything else, when we allow God to consume our hearts and minds, everything else just seems to fall right into place. There's great satisfaction and great contentment in knowing that I serve the God that created relationships, marriage, and me, and that I am filled with the Holy Spirit. Everything else is just stuff that goes along with life, and nothing is nearly as important as that fact. When I recognize who God is in relation to me, and how much less important everything is than God, I can gain new perspective on life, and that includes relationships.

If you're at all interested in hearing with Francis Chan and his wife have to say about marriage and relationships, take the time to listen to these two sermons, they really are insightful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihRmM0aVADU&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gankzqrIipQ&feature=relmfu

Awaken My Heart

I'll be the first to admit that my life is one, big messy struggle. And I screw up being like Jesus daily. I mean, I REALLY epically stink at being a Christian. Praise be to God for forgiveness and for his grace, because I would be nowhere without it.


 And I am so awful at forgetting that everyone else sucks just as badly as me. And I forget that everyone else hurts just as deeply as me. I'm so wrapped up in my stupid, trivial life that I don't leave room to love other people in the midst of their mess. Recently, the Lord has laid a big chunk of the book of Ephesians on my heart:

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. 

 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (4:22-32)

I always love when a "therefore" comes my way, because it means I've got to get my act together in about 1-2 verses. It's kind of like God's way of saying, "get over yourself and do this". Anyway, this verse section is so beautiful for so many reasons, the first of which being "do not let the sun go down while you are still angry". It's like God KNOWS that something happens when you let your crap fester. I think that we slip this verse into the "marriage" category and throw it around as a good piece of advice to give couples when they fight (thank you, Fireproof), but we forget about its importance in daily life. This verse speaks straight to my heart because I am one of the worst procrastinators ever, and I absolutely put of confrontation as long as humanly possible. I'm terrible at conflict, I'm scared of it, and I run away from it like the plague. 

But the best thing about serving our Jesus is that he won't let us stay the same for long. He gives us a beautiful set of "therefore's" to make us better versions of ourselves. I serve a Lord that puts fantastic situations in my life and always reminds me that conflict can make you better, not bitter. One of the most amazing things I learned from working for Celebrate Recovery for so many years is the healing and beauty that can come from confrontation. Facing the hard stuff doesn't always end badly (although it can feel pretty rough along the way), but facing those would-be monsters in your closet can actually prove to be beneficial. 

The second reason these verses are chalk-full of awesomeness is "do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths". It's so easy for me to find faults in other people, because it's so much less messy than looking at my own junk. One of the most mind-blowing things about Satan is that he can grasp a hold of our lives in ways that we don't even see coming, and we conform to sin in a way that makes us feel so comfortable, and it's embarrassing. Seriously, how can we justify saying degrading and misleading things about another person? I mean, you only need to read about 5 sentences from anywhere in the New Testament to know that we serve a Jesus that despises anything of that nature. 

Moral of the story- Me:0 Jesus: 5 billion. 

Team Jesus, dude.

PS- Stephen Miller has a fantastic song for a time like this....-

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-jJzeSgFas

Spring Break Realizations From the 'Hat

Welp, Folks, it's that time again- time to ponder the comings and goings of life via the blog post. Most everyone is galavanting the far corners of the continent whilst I am here, dutifully holding down the fort in Manhappenin (which is currently not so happenin'). After spending the majority of the week friendless (unless you count the innumerable teenage girls that shop at Aero, which I most definitely do not. Yet.), I have come to several realizations, most of which....all of which.... are about me.

Realization #1- I need a dog. Some would categorize that in the "want" category, but they would indeed be wrong, because I just plain NEED a dog. Why you ask? Well, for starters just think about the possibilities for funtivities. Secondly, there are the obvious safety features included in the large breed package, which is a bonus (adding to the "need" vs. "want" internal argument). Third, let's just ponder cuteness for a second. We all need a dose of cuteness in our lives

.....how can you say that's a "want" and not a "need"?!

I'll move on.

Realization #2- it is impossible for me to finish a project, namely a craft project. Examples?

1. My Christmas tree skirt, which I actually put under my tree less than 1/4 finished. Some day...

2. Area rug. That stupid 5x8 rug is not even 1/8 of the way done and I worked on it for over 100 hours this summer. Yes, I counted the hours. I'm really pulling for team "I'll finish that one when I'm pregnant one day/a stay at home mom/ a housewife/ unemployed substitute teacher/retired".

3. Knitted blanket. I started this bad boy in high school and gave up about 2 weeks in. That one is a total goner, may it rest in peace.

I have forbidden myself to start another project until I at least attempt to work on one of those (or one of the many other projects I've started and can't even find).

Realization #3- I own more clothes than anybody I've ever met. Okay, so I've probably known this for awhile, but I've finally come to accept the harsh reality that I own an insane amount of clothes. I can confidently say that after 8 weeks of not doing laundry, my walk in closet was still full of clothes....... And when I say "confidently", I mean "embarrassingly".... I blame three years of retail.

Realization #4- I'm almost 20 years old, and I still don't know how to swim. I had actually forgotten about that little fact until this week, and have once again begun the quest to conquer the h20. Know any lifeguards?

I could go on, but I have a bed full of laundry begging to be put away, and by "put away" I mean they're begging to be slept next to for the next 5 nights. The joys of a queen sized bed. Peace out cub scouts.

New Year, New Blog Name, New Me.

2012 has already been an amazing year living a life in Christ. Not only is God providing for me financially in ways that I could not have ever even imagined, but his grace abounds evermore.

As you may have noticed, I have recently changed the name of my blog to "Covered in the Dust of My Rabbi". I have this very vivid memory from my high school Christian club, one that has changed me forever. During a particular meeting, we were discussing the Jewish Rabbis in the time of Christ. Ribbis usually had disciples that would follow them around everywhere they went, hoping to learn everything they could. After following their teacher around all day, they would be covered in everything their rabbi had stepped in. There was a saying in this time that was something like, "May you be covered in the dust of your rabbi".

What a beautiful picture of our lives in Christ. It is my hope for you, for me, for us, to be so incredibly enthralled in Jesus Christ that we cling to him as close as humanly possible. What would it look like if we followed him so closely that we were covered in the dust of our rabbi? How simple, how humble and how absolutely beautiful is that picture of faith? Because we don't serve a clean and pretty Jesus, but a Son of God who is not afraid to get his hands dirty. We are so foolish to become distracted by petty things, we have lost sight of the Son of God himself. I've lost sight of him.

So my hope for this year is to follow Christ with so much enthusiasm, I don't even have any idea what's going on outside of Christ. Because when my entire being is focused on him, everything is so clear. I see the hurt, and the pain, and the Christ in every situation. I feel love for his people, and I have a never ending joy for the eternal.

As I prepare my heart to spend my summer in Africa, I pray constantly for God to show me what he sees. I want to see everything through his eyes because if I don't, I'm going to miss something. I'm going to miss an opportunity to share the gospel, or to show his love to someone hurting. I lack wisdom in so many places, but I'm smart enough to know that I couldn't do something like this on my own, and I don't want to.

This is my goal for this year, while I'm here and when I'm gone- to be a disciple that is covered in the dust of my rabbi.